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1975
Peach-flavor Jell-O returns.
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TROUBLE IN DOGGYLAND
You see, when one dog loves another "very" much ...
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ANNOUNCEMENT
Tanzan wrote sixty e-mails on the last day of his life. Then he
passed away.
The e-mails read:
I am departing from this world.
Yahoo!
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PERVERSION
A man coming home from work caught his wife in bed with another
man. Distraught, he fled. Arriving at a bar, he met an old friend
and began a passionate affair with her. One day, walking with his
mistress, he was afraid his wife would see them. The next day, walking
with his wife, he was afraid his mistress would see them. The day
after that, while sitting at a café, two mice, one white
and one black, knotted his shoelaces. Just before he stood up, he
took another sip from his orange mocha Frappuccino. How delicious
it tasted!
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BAD GRILS
Years ago a friend and I saw a movie in Chinatown called "Bad
Girls." It was about a girl gang with an initiation rite that
included setting your own pubic hair on fire. The subtitle for the
movie read "Bad Grils."
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RED BOLDFACE
Red Boldface—Indian spy!
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THE MAGIC LAMP
Oh, the magic lamp—that's your answer for everything.
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THE LEFT SIDE OF THE BRAIN
Now, if you look out the left side of the brain, you'll see—the
left side of the brain.
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THEY ENVISION HOPE AS PURE ENERGY
We envision Bob Hope as pure energy. Yes, pure energy.
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NOTES
Spiro Agnew is tasteless, odorless, and leaves no trace in the
human body. Spiro Agnew and Spiro Agnew are not affiliated. Kids
come running for the
great taste of Spiro! (Check status as "Spiro.")
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WOODPECKER SWAN
Woodpecker swan, woodpecker swan
Woodpecker swan, woodpecker swan
What a beautiful bird
I hope they let me keep it
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WHAT IS THIS PLACE?
Answer to Commander Yamoto's question: This is place where I just
saw half a crab kill a guy.
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QUESTION
If they can send a man to the moon, how come they can't send the
common cold to the moon?
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ELECTIVE AFFINITIES
There are a number of fun things to do in New York City. Drinking,
smoking, and looking at naked people outside your own apartment
are options. Eating out is fun. I like to get more out of life by
going to a movie.
Places I Like to Visit
Gray's Papaya, 402 Sixth Avenue, is open 24 hours in case you want
a wiener. Irresistible New York hot dogs, frothy drinks, and all-plastic
décor are the mainstays of this eatery.
Monkey Bar, in the Hotel Elysee, 60 East 54 St., has monkey murals
you can drink and smoke in front of. Older sophisticates rub elbows
and buttocks with eager young executives at this 1930s-era watering
hole.
Baby Doll Lounge, 34 White St. What could be better for chasing
the blues Away than a midday binge at this low-rent strip bar? (Hint:
Don't watch the dancers in the bar mirror's reflection—the manager
thinks it's "creepy.")
And of course there is Florent, 69 Gansevoort St., for simple French
bistro fare or a Coke.
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