Poem

Martha Silano

TAKING A BATH WITH A FOUR-MONTH OLD

She is buoyant and I am buoyant and I know
I'm okay from the way I recognize the danger

of even a tiny trickle running up her nose
from even a little coughing

and sitting here I can't imagine
loosening even a little the crook of my arm

the hold I have on her
but I can't I can't help but think

of the woman who did
who did while all the while thinking

this is right this is what I deserve
and I can only guess as my daughter kicks

and coos she's reliving her many swims
in that long-ago evaporated pool

and I can only guess at another mother's
undeniable demons

but I can't help but think
I have the power I have the power too

as I pick her up to wash a leg an arm
as I rinse from her head wild watermelon suds

and when I dip a little too deeply and up she comes
all red and breathless all eyes on me

how could you? her entire body focused
on clearing intruding drips

she would have had to hold them down
she would have had to fight them

she must not have been able to see their eyes
hear that desperate gagging

she would have had no way to comprehend
she was somewhere else entirely

Martha Silano

Martha Silano is the author of two full-length collections, What the Truth Tastes Like and Blue Positive. Her work recently appears or is forthcoming in 13th Moon, Columbia Poetry Review, Fine Madness, Green Mountains Review, Rhino, TriQuarterly, and in the anthology Long Journey: Contemporary Northwest Poets. She teaches at Bellevue Community College.

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