SUBJECT>Re: Disassembled Narrative POSTER>Laurel EMAIL> DATE>1107784086 IP_ADDRESS>156.77.108.71 PASSWORD>aaFRbor6/KzWk PREVIOUS>83120 NEXT> IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

Ha. Oh, Bill, lately, all my poems seem to be springing from a series of free associations--which results in some strange, unwieldly and utlimately insupportable constructions sometimes (I guess what I'm trying to say, badly, thanks to the hour of day and lack of consciousness, ha ha, is that the poems I'm writing right now rarely have a stable foundation upon which they're built). But it IS interesting as hell to write like this. And yes, I agree with you that this poem will survive a revision---most poems do, if the poet's willing, I think, don't you? (although I have been "accused" for lack of a better word, and by a very dear friend, of killing my poems in revision---and she may be right--but I'd rather revise, and revise ruthlessly and intensively rather than believe that crap about first word best word---which in some rare cases does apply but usually not---a rough draft is called rough for a reason, no?)

The Donne was intentional. The Bloom was not--perhaps Hannah and Scoplaw were getting at Bloom in there poems which inspired mine. (Misprision? What is that?) Nope, the Shakespeare sprang from the coconut as shrunken head and familiar stranger passed on the street. I can connect the dots from one association to the next but maybe the reader can't---and I guess if I'm going to continue writing in this vein--and gosh, I probably will because I do enjoy the surprises it provides me (the brain will kick out the strangest things if you relax and stop "thinking", ha ha) and my poetry--I ought to strive to make the connections between the dots a bit more explicit. Or heck, go in the complete opposite direction and make them so enigmatic that the poem makes no sense at all. (grin)

Thanks, as always, for your feedback, sir. It's much appreciated.

Laurel

: i think this poem could certainly survive
: revision and turn into something good, but i
: think you go for too many angles here.. for
: example, i note the harold bloom idea of
: misprision (is this, perhaps, what sparks
: the shakespeare reference?), but then a
: definite shift at woman is an island to a
: poem which assaults the john donne
: (correct?) assertion.. like the line about
: nothing particularly exotic, as it jars the
: reader into reconsidering the idealized
: image of a tropical undiscovered island..
: then i sense another shift at funny how any
: stranger on the street reminds of the
: long-lost, the forgotten (although there is
: something about thsi line that i enjoy)..
: then yorrick, shakespeare.. and as has been
: mentioned, i feel unpaid at the ending..
: best of luck
: cheers
: bill

: Disasssembled Narrative