SUBJECT>Re: Nothing Stirring (revised) POSTER>cyocom EMAIL>cyocom@earthlink.net DATE>1108258841 EMAILNOTICES>no IP_ADDRESS>dialup-4.228.249.239.Dial1.Denver1.Level3.net PASSWORD>aarxDe74iXSx6 PREVIOUS>83358 NEXT> 83369 IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

Hello,
I think the revision works better than the original. There are a couple of places where sound was annoying: house/mouse, trap/snap, drift/draft. Usually sonics work to enhance a poem so I can't say why these instances were jarring. I'm glad you decided to break the stanza at the introduction of the room because it starts an entirely new direction of thought.

noi