SUBJECT>Re: Literally and Figuratively (revision) POSTER>cyocom EMAIL>cyocom@earthlink.net DATE>1108913639 EMAILNOTICES>no IP_ADDRESS>dialup-4.228.243.69.Dial1.Denver1.Level3.net PASSWORD>aarxDe74iXSx6 PREVIOUS>83622 NEXT> IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

Interesting and worth further work. There are several points of confusion where some punctuation changes would keep the reader from having to come out of the poem to parse the grammar.
Inlines.

noi

: Literally and Figuratively

: When, in passing, you exclaimed I’m as hungry
: as a mole
: after killing the day pedaling through snow--my
: feet

~~~Who killed the day pedaling through snow? The mole or "you"?

: are cold, you complained, come closer and rub
: my soles,
: warm them with your hands--I knew and didn’t
: know
: exactly what you were trying to say. I took
: your hunger,
: first, literally. Since moles like hummingbirds
: and all tiny
: creatures have super-accelerated metabolisms
: that run

~~~This read to me that moles like hummingbirds and all tiny creatures. That was a surprising thought since they inhabit different layers of the ecosphere! :) I unscrambled it on second read.

: at such rapid speeds the rodents have to eat
: constantly
: just to keep those little machines running. A
: hunger
: that never leaves. A hunger you feed and feed
: and feed
: but never stave. I also took your hunger as
: metaphor,
: the mole boring and boring holes, digging
: through hard
: soil in search of beetles and worms, those
: over-sized
: hands swimming through the dirt, the motion
: always
: forward, forward. A dark, a journeying hunger,
: and me
: standing barefoot in the wet grass peering down
: your tunnel.

~~~This conflates the mole and 'you' which is interesting.

: Literally, your feet are still cold.

~~~I think that simply making the statement demonstrates literal. I don't think you need the parallel construction to prop the title.

: Figuratively, you pedaled
: all day, away, away, away, and look how far
: you've gotten.
: I'm reminded just now of a photograph of a row
: of dead
: moles strung up on a barbed wire fence. Why is
: that?

~~~The final question doesn't need to be stated. If the reader has been paying attention, their response would be a question. I feel it's preferable to leave the end open to the reader's interpretation.