SUBJECT>Re: I am trying this rewrite POSTER>cyocom EMAIL>cyocom@earthlink.net DATE>1109327775 EMAILNOTICES>no IP_ADDRESS>dialup-4.228.243.147.Dial1.Denver1.Level3.net PASSWORD>aarxDe74iXSx6 PREVIOUS>83851 NEXT> IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

This works very well as revised. The title is excellent.

I would like to break L9 on stops and I think you intend lid[s].

noi

: For The Birds at the Chinese Market Who Sing
: When the Box is Open

: I envy you the darkness
: the four heads of your brothers
: a quartet of voices silent with waiting.
: And I envy you the child’s hand
: the way it flutters
: with indecision how a boy decides
: the lid must go and I envy you the song
: filling the child with wonder.
: The lids returns, each note
: stops begins again, the boy
: plays this game of rhythm
: and there is no reason.

: Yet you sing when the box
: is open.