SUBJECT>Re: The Next To Last Piece POSTER>cyocom EMAIL>cyocom@earthlink.net DATE>1109328639 EMAILNOTICES>no IP_ADDRESS>dialup-4.228.243.147.Dial1.Denver1.Level3.net PASSWORD>aarxDe74iXSx6 PREVIOUS>83827 NEXT> 84046 IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

Hello Si mon,
It seems to me that the speaker is too much OUT of the poem. What the heck I mean by that, I don't know. There is no texture, sense, or feel of puzzle, only narrative in subject/verb.

It starts slow and I wonder what would happen if you start with "After the shot...". You could wind back and catch the beginning. There are a couple of places I feel you should look at the punctuation again--L3, after "scenes", and L8, after "this".

This line tells what should be evident from reading.
"And yet, I can't help but relate to the next
to last piece shoved in quick."

noi