SUBJECT>Re: The Fridge POSTER>Asher EMAIL> DATE>1109612651 IP_ADDRESS>sunset.lib.uwo.ca PREVIOUS>84031 NEXT> IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

Hi Sachi--thank's for the careful read/comments. You made some good points. Yes, I will probably let go of the pre personal line. I liked your note on the word "they." You make a convincing argument to change that pronoun.

You can hear someone else's gut's churning, I think.

I have few ideas on how to rework this so it is easier to enter, but will consider the "reshelfing" idea in a revision. Thanks for the grammar edits/questions, as well.

Best,

AG

Dear Asher

: I think the title is compelling. A unique
: subject.

: I think (a sort of prepersonal or
: trans/personal experience) as an intext
: works against the flow and splits the image.
: Not sure why the readed must be guided thus.

: I think this needs better grammar. Perhaps
: different words.

: Nice voice shift. But who is 'they'..how can
: the narrator presume a common point of
: refernece--how can he/she be sure the reader
: will connect?

: 'A green of repose' is nice. Some nice sounds
: too. Liked the risks you take with China.
: But the last line..of his father's gut..not
: sure what that is? How would he know?

: Many bright spots here. 'cuticle of so and
: so'..is a let down to me particularly
: because of raised expectations since we are
: so specific about the abstract. Should there
: be a ; after mooring?

: Nice romp though I think the design could
: bettered. No single image lasts the
: previous? Why is that? Could you arrange the
: shelving such that its easier to enter?
: Always good to read you mate. Best regards.