SUBJECT>Re: Epilogue: The Symbolism of Color POSTER>Laurel EMAIL> DATE>1109799699 IP_ADDRESS>156.77.108.70 PASSWORD>aaFRbor6/KzWk PREVIOUS>84078 NEXT> IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

Gee, both you and Zola pointed to the absence of color lines. I'll have to mull that over.

Thanks for the rewrite on the 1st stanza. I'm always handing out edits to everyone else (much to their dismay, ha ha) so it's nice to get one in return. I think the entry into the poem is a bit clumsy because it's not necessariliy clear or explained. I was going to include a line from Li Po as an epigraph about drinking by the light of the moon or getting drunk with the moon....but I couldn't find a translation I liked.

Hey, thanks for this crit!

Laurel

: A little bit of a slow starter, but it rages at
: the end. A rewrite of the first stanza for
: you: This white light river still shimmers
: with symbols. White = the absence
: of (everything) = the absence of symbol?

: A little tightening here and there is in order,
: I think. Expected the absense of color part,
: so maybe you should rethink that and offer
: up something a little less used.

: Jables