SUBJECT>Re: Things You Tell Children POSTER>Jude Goodwin EMAIL>jude@goodwinstudios.com DATE>1110066389 IP_ADDRESS>S0106000d933a93d0.vn.shawcable.net PASSWORD>aaVJ1mJgvTfiY PREVIOUS>84257 NEXT> IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

Hey TE, I too enjoyed this. However, I did find the chronology a bit confusing - at first I thought perhaps this was a poem about sexual abuse (between church pianist and 7 year old child) but then the references to his mother and him not being allowed to date. Was it an adult doing this to a child? If so the 'now he is bald' implies that he wasn't grown during the 'event' of the poem. It could be 'he is still bald' or something mundane I know but do you see what I mean? If it was a peer, or simply an older child, then his playing the piano and why the child doesn't talk about him. Or maybe it is two teens - that would fit I guess, but then the reference to the 7 year old child is difficult.
It's also not clear how he was accessing the child, while she stood - he did it while she stood in the choir near the piano? Sorry if I'm being dense but sometimes questions like these can be easily answered in the revision.

And of course it's worth it - the poem has some beautiful parts:

while he fingers fell into my body

For threes years he found
the small parts of my body
hidden, as I stood silent

in worship, a Mary
with all the dead of angels at her feet. (wasn't sure about the dead angels, were angels painted on the floor?)

And no one ever knew
we were lovers, even today
while giving a list of names
I do not say his

(( this is a cool section. I thought I was the only one who had a list ))

but his mother once told me
when I was seven
and sliding around in my chair
during the part in Revelation

when Jesus comes again
that I would never find love
because I was one of those girls

who never understood
the meaning of sit.

(( this is great storytelling - just wish this bit connected with the first bits a bit more ))

respectfully
Jude