SUBJECT>Re: Leaves POSTER>David Halitsky EMAIL>dhalitsky@cumulativeinquiry.com DATE>1110629946 IP_ADDRESS>adsl-154-172-192.bna.bellsouth.net PASSWORD>aa2CpqTRwrBWA PREVIOUS>84660 NEXT> 84677 IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>
Leo Y -
Technically and prosodically, this is elegant and lyrical.
One question - did you deliberately use the same end-rhymes in S2 and S1 to give the feeling of the rhyme "falling" through the S's like the leaves ?
If you did, it worked, and I would like your permission to cite this poem in the future as the occasion arises.
Thematically, I gotta believe you realize you are skirting the same precipice that A.E. Housman skirted in a lot of even his best stuff.
Dont' get me wrong - I am a big Housman fan. But I also recognize that he is not the post-moderns' cup of tea.
So thematically, I don't know ...
And also, if the sun in last line IS a pun, then I really don't know ...
Regards
David Halitsky