SUBJECT>Re: "It took poets to remind & encourage me to how POSTER>Hannah EMAIL> DATE>1110812471 EMAILNOTICES>no IP_ADDRESS>fgw.msa.com PASSWORD>aamfaEF9hh1V6 PREVIOUS>84730 NEXT> IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

Michael-

This isn’t doing much for me, at the moment. The erratic grammar and punctuation seems, to my eye, more accident than intention (although in a few places it’s clear that you’ve used the line breaks to substitute for punctuation…the inconsistency is bothersome).

The worst…lines like this:

Within minutes
I land on doorsteps under the loom
of a dark canopy then I knew it would
not be long now.

Which surely isn’t grammatically correct…nor does the cessation of grammatical sense infer any additional purpose/direction/meaning.

The poem picks up quite a bit once we hit the Stevie Nicks line—the remaining text is much more interesting in trope, even if the language still seems slack or underworked.

Thanks for the chance to read and respond, Michael.

-H