SUBJECT>Re: Laryngitis POSTER>geoff EMAIL>geoffleone@hotmail.com DATE>1110917472 IP_ADDRESS>uhall-backlab-139t.fdu.edu PASSWORD>aa3znsx.4y15U PREVIOUS>84797 NEXT> IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>
RE. Laryngitis
For David Ayers.
The second part has all the goodies, images and similes and a certain clarity. The first part resembles a dull warm up for the second.
Recommend taking it and saving a few details to decorate the second, then perhaps have a long, hard look at the result.
It may result in a bully piece supplemented by new material (if you haven't already?)
Best,
Geoff
*
: It’s hoarse, it’s hoarse, it’s scratchy and
: raspy
: It’s hard to talk about, it’s painful
: It makes a face, a scowl, a wince,
: makes a finger point, makes it
: (impossible to scream)
: It’s got to be whispered
: slow
: a bit at a time
: *
: You understand where it’s coming from
: It reminds you of shaving, of cutting your face
: how you drank smoke when the house caught on
: fire
: You drank smoke because
: you forgot to get down
: forgot the way out
: way to the door
: like a bad latch or a red hinge
: You just can’t say your name