SUBJECT>Re: ps POSTER>Asher EMAIL> DATE>1111164276 IP_ADDRESS>dyn129-100-215-79.alh.reznet.uwo.ca PREVIOUS>84948 NEXT> 84975 IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

AnneMarie--
Thanks for considering this. Do what ever you want...of course. I was just suggesting (since it is a longer piece) some points to focus in on if you don't know how to approach. I think I would find it daunting to critique, myself.

Thanks a million.

AG

Don't know whether I can stick to your exact
: requirements on how to critique this. I'm
: not saying anything on length since I nearly
: will always take a piece as-is. On first
: read the transitions seem fine exact I
: wanted to (add) one more onto a 'now'

: eg

: since you have

: What was that language now: meaning

: you could use a () on your first 'now' which
: appears

: was verdant-- now

: to

: was verdant-- (now)
: space crowds, always an audition

: since you're moving in and out in a memory
: sense too. This may be off - it's too early
: in the morning here...

: AnnMarie