SUBJECT>Re: Revison: Afterword(s) POSTER>Jenn EMAIL> DATE>1111207076 IP_ADDRESS>216-160-92-157.tukw.qwest.net PASSWORD>aaWM4ZLwJA84g PREVIOUS>84934 NEXT> 85027 IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

Asher,

Yep, this is hard to get through on screen, and if I feel better tomorrow (damn damn cold), I'll print it out and maybe return. But here is what I have for you now:

The ( ) work better for me in the single spaced stanzas; they don't at all in the doubles. Why? I'm not sure. Just a sense.

And this: Father's door remains on a hinge.

I like as this: Father's remains hinge on a door. (In fact, I like it so much, I may use it somewhere, somehow, someday.) :)

That's all. I know it's only an "ok" crit, but it's all I've got tonight.

Jenn