SUBJECT>Re: The Heat of Spring POSTER>Laurel EMAIL> DATE>1111793326 EMAILNOTICES>no IP_ADDRESS>dhcp024-166-094-243.neo.rr.com PASSWORD>aaFRbor6/KzWk PREVIOUS>85435 NEXT> 85491 IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

Gosh, I'm smiling. I just got home from work and found a copy of Paul Guest's book of poems in my mailbox. Have you read him? His work reminds me very much of Jim Zola's or vice versa.

So, I'm gonna smile right on through this crit. And heck, this poem gives me plenty to smile about. Mind if I fiddle a bit? Here goes nothin':

Spring Heat

The birds are so absurd, they’ve forgotten
about singing. They dart about
in the sky in a tangle of cold screech and fiddle.

How absent you have been.
Come show me deepened skin;
come back across the grasslands to me.

I have coats and boots,
hats, anything you may want to wear. I will dress you
in hot layers until suddenly you say,
"I'd forgotten how comfortatlbe shirtsleeves
can be in the snowy mountains."

What I like about this poem, and any of your poems, for that matter, is that I can never anticipate where they'll end up. That's the best compliment I think I can give any poet: your work manages to achieve a constant state of surprise--in language, in situation, in delivery, in the unabashed gladness of tone.

I made a few small changes, as you can see. I know, you'll scowl at that semi-colon. But I heard an end stop there, a much longer pause than a comma can deliver. And I messed with the syntax in the final line. Oh, and I added a "so" in the first line. Meanwhile, I love that bird/absurd line. I smiled when I read it earlier today, and heck, I smiled again just now when I reread it. Okay, so I was already smiling...so I grinned.

I changed the title too. I know you'll have none of that (grin) but I was thinking that slight switch would give heat additional connotation, additional nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

It's always a pleasure reading you, Sherry.

I gotta go read some more Paul.

Laurel