SUBJECT>Re: THE WOMAN SPEAKS POSTER>Jessica A.C. Snyder EMAIL>hautepoet@hotmail.com DATE>1112292789 IP_ADDRESS>az-yuma-cuda1s-201.losaca.adelphia.net PASSWORD>aaiSrkYixZ5ro PREVIOUS>85693 NEXT> 85706 IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

Thanks for the generous read, Ryan!

I have issues with the fruit myself, but more with phrasing of the fruit--too wordsome/awkward. I honestly thought that the metaphorical import of the garden/honeymoon, fruit/orgasm would bring this back to the modern speaker. And those are two of the metaphors I wanted central to the poem, so I'm really reluctant to cut them. Do you think, maybe, that if I placed them higher up, maybe before the slaying, that they might be less over-done feeling? Or, if I tightened the language a bit? I'm trying to think of what modern imagery both Eve and a modern EveryWoman could convey, because I really like the idea of strengthening the intentional ambiguity. Or, maybe if I made the biblical imagery even more modernized? I'd LOVE any suggestions you may have. Please, don't fear "mucking"--if something will "muck" up the poem, I just won't use it. ;)

Hmmmm...lots to brainstorm over.