SUBJECT>Re: Cello POSTER>Si mon EMAIL> DATE>1112368360 IP_ADDRESS>199.184.88.166 PREVIOUS>85733 NEXT> IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

one suggestion == change the title to "Somedays I Prefer the Cello" and then cut the first 5 lines. It might be risky to start with "How many ways", but i like the risk. A few edits suggested below.
I don't think the cello pain should stay -- it made me chuckle. i wanted to say -- oh jello rain -- i think if you want to keep the poetic language at the poem's finish, you need to consider toning down the language in the middle -- if that makes any sense.

this is a hard poem to pull off since it has been done before...but I enjoyed your effort.

: Cello

: Somedays I don't turn the lights on,
: can't bear to acknowledge
: their soiled yellow smear
: and feeble struggles.
: Somedays I prefer the cello.
: How many ways
: can a poet describe rain: drear flat relentless
: grey savage and
: grey; how many ways
: can the cello
: draw a single note
: if I [were] press[ing] its wood
: into my bones,
: its groan through
: my thighs -
: oh cello pain
: and rain the lancet
: this dawn is time for blood
: these windows act the wet cup
: while March slaps leaches
: against the glass. Play
: for me cello,
: play simple gifts,
: no, love - just love,
: play that for me
: today.