SUBJECT>Re: I consider couplet replacement a tweak . . . POSTER>Very Silly Person EMAIL>Stamina@stamina.com DATE>1112530314 IP_ADDRESS>lutn-cache-2.server.ntli.net PREVIOUS>85808 NEXT> IMAGE> LINKNAME> LINKURL>

Hi Dave

Oh – lummee! You startled me – I don’t usually look in P&N. If the truth were known, I didn’t know of its existence.

Yes, I like the new final couplet. But people will be unwilling to read much further than fuck-up, piss-off and suck-up. You need to apply some decorum, such as:

You know that I will endlessly foul-up,
and I cannot control my tendency
to rattle those who, willing to reward,
will keep me down by their ascendancy.
And yet you stay, a Constance Bonacieux
supportive of her reckless D'Artagnan,
with full foreknowledge you must bid adieu
to all that you had set your hopes upon.

Re: Sonnet 29.1 at Eratosphere

No - it's not in a Deep End "main" or "top" post.
It's in one of my posts inside the "Sonnet 8.1." thread - been there since Thursday, as I recall.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I found it in Erato - Nobody has commented specifically on it – and that’s not a good sign. I don’t think they have realized that you substituted 29.1 for the 73.1.

Kindest regards
VSP